The happy ever after: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "<credits> Слова: Ron Cahute & Ihor Baczynskyj Мелодія: ? </credits> <spiv> Well Варвара and Оферма Whose real name is Stan Finally got together And they were married They went to local Ukrainian Кредитова спілка Варвара co-signed a loan And Stan got new car And it was a lovely wedding Everyone there wore green In honor of Stan's капуста affliction Except Варвара Being the bride, she wore something old Some n...") |
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<credits> | <credits> | ||
Слова: Ron Cahute & Ihor Baczynskyj | Слова: Ron Cahute & Ihor Baczynskyj | ||
Мелодія: ? | Мелодія: "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug8p5pVsj9U Mountain Dew]" - Bascom Lamar Lunsford & Scotty Wiseman | ||
</credits> | </credits> | ||
<spiv> | <spiv> | ||
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And it was a lovely wedding | And it was a lovely wedding | ||
Everybody there wore green | |||
In honor of Stan's капуста affliction | In honor of Stan's капуста affliction | ||
Except Варвара | Except Варвара | ||
| Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
The women from the kitchen | The women from the kitchen | ||
Cooked all the food except for шкварки | Cooked all the food, except for шкварки | ||
You see it seems Stan has developed | You see it seems Stan has developed | ||
A very serious case of шкварко-phobia | A very serious case of шкварко-phobia | ||
Which was really too bad because | Which was really too bad because | ||
Голубці at wedding tasted like grass | |||
Otherwise food was pretty good | Otherwise food was pretty good | ||
All tasteless, but it was alright | All tasteless, but it was alright | ||
| Line 40: | Line 41: | ||
Twenty-five cents at the door | Twenty-five cents at the door | ||
Здорованя was after dinner | |||
Everybody stood in line for piece of wedding cake | Everybody stood in line for piece of wedding cake | ||
And picture of bride and groom | |||
Then they drank toast to happy couple with самогонка | Then they drank toast to happy couple with самогонка | ||
A very special vintage, I might add, made just for the wedding | A very special vintage, I might add, made just for the wedding | ||
Seems they used fresh water and washed the pot | Seems they used fresh water and they washed the pot | ||
Wedding gifts were mostly cash | Wedding gifts were mostly cash | ||
Except from non-Ukrainians | Except from non-Ukrainians | ||
From them they electric can opener | From them they got electric can opener | ||
??????? those?? Ukrainian mugs with "Варвара" and "Stan" on them | ??????? those?? Ukrainian mugs with "Варвара" and "Stan" on them | ||
Couple of queen bed sheets | Couple of queen bed sheets | ||
Some kind of bow??? that to this day nobody knows what the hell it's for | Some kind of bow??????? that to this day nobody knows what the hell it's for | ||
And a set of six shot glasses that say "Bob's Texaco" | And a set of six shot glasses that say "Bob's Texaco" | ||
| Line 57: | Line 59: | ||
Got loaded | Got loaded | ||
And about eleven-thirty | And about eleven-thirty | ||
Fight started | |||
After wedding was over | After wedding was over | ||
It was that special time for the wedding night | It was that special time for the wedding night | ||
Bride and groom escaped in Stan's new car | Bride and groom escaped in Stan's new car | ||
To local rooming house | |||
For constipation of their marriage | For constipation of their marriage | ||
Everybody came from wedding | Everybody came from wedding | ||
To join in festivities or whatever | |||
Next day was поправання | Next day was поправання | ||
Everybody, of course except non-Ukrainians, | Everybody, of course except non-Ukrainians, | ||
Showed up for free party | |||
Then played same eight songs | Then played same eight songs | ||
And it's been thirty-eight years since wedding | And it's been, uh, thirty-eight years since wedding | ||
And according to свекруха | And according to свекруха | ||
Stan is still Оферма | Stan is still Оферма | ||
At least they both have exact same opinion | At least they both have the exact same opinion | ||
They both think the other one's a pain in the ass | They both think the other one's a pain in the ass | ||
And should move out of the house | And should move out of the house | ||
But now for finale, Stan is going to sing following song | But now for finale, | ||
Stan is going to sing following song | |||
Let her go Stan! | Let her go Stan! | ||
</spiv> | </spiv> | ||
== Словник == | == Словник == | ||
Revision as of 15:19, 27 June 2024
Слова: Ron Cahute & Ihor Baczynskyj
Мелодія: "Mountain Dew" - Bascom Lamar Lunsford & Scotty Wiseman
Well Варвара and Оферма
Whose real name is Stan
Finally got together
And they were married
They went to local Ukrainian
Кредитова спілка
Варвара co-signed a loan
And Stan got new car
And it was a lovely wedding
Everybody there wore green
In honor of Stan's капуста affliction
Except Варвара
Being the bride, she wore something old
Some new-new
Something borrowed
Something blue
And green, and yellow, and red, and black
And let us not forget dusty rose????
The women from the kitchen
Cooked all the food, except for шкварки
You see it seems Stan has developed
A very serious case of шкварко-phobia
Which was really too bad because
Голубці at wedding tasted like grass
Otherwise food was pretty good
All tasteless, but it was alright
Some locals got together
They rented some musical instruments
They learned eight songs
Released a CD and played the wedding for free
But they did manage to make thirty-eight dollars
Twenty-five cents at the door
Здорованя was after dinner
Everybody stood in line for piece of wedding cake
And picture of bride and groom
Then they drank toast to happy couple with самогонка
A very special vintage, I might add, made just for the wedding
Seems they used fresh water and they washed the pot
Wedding gifts were mostly cash
Except from non-Ukrainians
From them they got electric can opener
??????? those?? Ukrainian mugs with "Варвара" and "Stan" on them
Couple of queen bed sheets
Some kind of bow??????? that to this day nobody knows what the hell it's for
And a set of six shot glasses that say "Bob's Texaco"
People danced all night
Got loaded
And about eleven-thirty
Fight started
After wedding was over
It was that special time for the wedding night
Bride and groom escaped in Stan's new car
To local rooming house
For constipation of their marriage
Everybody came from wedding
To join in festivities or whatever
Next day was поправання
Everybody, of course except non-Ukrainians,
Showed up for free party
Then played same eight songs
And it's been, uh, thirty-eight years since wedding
And according to свекруха
Stan is still Оферма
At least they both have the exact same opinion
They both think the other one's a pain in the ass
And should move out of the house
But now for finale,
Stan is going to sing following song
Let her go Stan!
Словник
- constipation = a joke "mistake" instead of "consummation"